POTS girl 128

POTS is exhausting.

And it’s so hard to explain to people! They forget so easily. Every day I’m in pain, dizzy, exhausted, weak. I get multiple headaches, tons of cognitive issues, I feel out of breath, everything just overworks in my body… and when it happens every day, it’s easy to get sick of it. People think it’s really not that bad, and I don’t mean to complain or sound pessimistic, but honestly it is. It’s bad.

I wish they would really stop to imagine that they are running a marathon, and that their heart is racing at 130-160 beats per minute, and thats how I feel anytime I’m just standing up. You know how you see athletes that overwork? They get dehydrated so easily, and they start passing out and throwing up? Happens to me all the time. My pulse can even go up to 170-200 bpm just by climbing a set of stairs. When normal people are walking/jogging at a steady pace, thats how I feel when I’m sitting. When they are sitting, thats how I feel when I’m lying down.

Bottom line: My body never rests. It always goes and goes and goes. And that’s just my pulse, I didn’t even talk about what my blood pressure does.

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#POTS #dysautonomia #chronic illness #exhausting

Personal summer post.

So I saw someone today. I think they saw me. I haven’t talked to them, like real conversation in almost two years. I wonder if they ever think about me, or miss me, or think about what we had. We used to see each other every day. Especially that one summer… The memories make me smile (:

I can’t believe that was 4 summers ago now… summer ‘08. I still consider it one of the best, if not the best, summer of my life. I was so carefree, I wasn’t sick, I was really happy. Theater, friends. (I need to get back into theater, like seriously. I would do it this summer but I missed the cutoff for tryouts. Maybe I’ll at least help with tech this summer.)

But anyway. I hope I can make the summer the best so far, I really do.

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